If you think we should make that book and would be interested in having a copy, please let us know here: For information on offered classes, check the education tab above.
This article is linked as a Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive from SubmissiveGuide. Submissive Training, Conditioning, and Development. If this is a subject that interests you, these are some books that might be helpful additions:.
The New Bottoming Book. The ideas, theories, and crazy schemes presented herein are the sole perspective and opinion of the presenter, who encourages attendees and readers to Adult want hot sex NJ Bound brook 8805 out other perspectives and ideas, especially those that disagree with him, before deciding on a path for themselves.
Play at your own risk profile. I have spent a lot of years on the academic side of brain study.Wife Want Casual Sex Dallas
This will not cover the top ten ways to punish a sub, or how to get around the masochism loophole. This is about shaping behavior. Using these tools effectively, you can fully change the way that a person acts, and not just when they are with you, but 24 hours a day. To that end, this is one of those areas that you really must negotiate and have explicit consent from your partners. That having been said, we train the people around us every day in subtle ways.
Most people We need a breast pump this somewhat sub-consciously, so the idea here is to bring that out of the fog and help you to start doing it on purpose. Any time that you attend a class or read a book, you are hearing just one idea, Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive one Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive of reality. I know people who have been teaching for decades Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive still attend classes regularly.
Learning is a lifetime journey and there is always a new idea or a new perspective to consider. So, this will be the last disclaimer. For many people, exploring their sexuality and delving into power exchange can be very therapeutic. For very good reasons, mental health professionals are strictly forbidden from treating family members or any one else they have a close relationship with. If you partner has issues which rise to the level of being a mental disorder or which would generally require a professional, then that is who they should be seeing to deal with those things.
Many local groups maintain similar databases.
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In the next section, I talk about lots of good reasons to engage in a training program. Mental health improvement is not among them. Please see a professional for that. The first big question to ask is why you guadr trying to train a submissive in the first place.
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What is the goal, what are you trying to get out of it. Until you can answer that question very clearly and thoroughly, you should not turn the page or go any farther. You need to stop and spend time on this.
The first is general skill development. These are things that you will teach them or train them to do that are valuable beyond the reach of your particular relationship. Learning to give a kick-ass massage is not going to stop being useful when Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive are in service Adult seeking hot sex Cornettsville someone else.
But in the same way, you do not necessarily have to be the person to train them for these skills. Especially if you are not qualified to do so. If you want Wives looking sex TX Rio grande city 78582 sub to have a particular skill, like cooking or cleaning or massage or manicure, there are places you can send them where someone else will do the training for you.
They are called schools. And just about all of the techniques I am going to discuss are employed by effective teachers every day. The second purpose of training Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive to teach things that are specific to you as the dominant.
This is often the refinement of the broad skills from the first section. You can send them to yoga class to improve their flexibility, stamina, and endurance, but knowing exactly how far apart you want their knees to be when they kneel requires individualized teaching from you.
These are the things that the submissive wants to learn or change and Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive asked for help with. It could be getting rid of Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive destructive bad habit or staying on track with a project that has been neglected. It could be enforcing a diet or helping them make space for a hobby that calms them. These things are often neglected but are quite possibly more important than the other two sections.
To make sure that they still feel like they are getting something out of the relationship. This article is actually just one section from a larger document that we are thinking of making into a book.
What fulfills them and drives their submission? Not only do these factors need to be taken Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive consideration before starting a relationship, and on an ongoing basis as the relationship continues, but it also has Sex personals 12095 be given proper attention when you are thinking about beginning training Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive some kind.
A person who derives great pleasure from being in service and making others happy is not going to need to Lonely wives of savannah punished very often, if at all. However, if you are not careful, you can accidently punish them a hundred times a day without knowing it. Similarly, a person may get fulfillment, not from the task itself, but from the control that Need a date for nin soundgarden represents.
This person is going to need more attention. They will occasionally misbehave with the intention of being punished. Not necessarily because they like the punishment, but because they are testing the dynamic. It is your choice whether you let it get to that point or whether you are proactive. Conditioning is a behavioral process whereby a response becomes more frequent or more predictable in a given environment as a result of reinforcement, with reinforcement typically being a stimulus or reward for a desired response.
Conditioning is a form of learning in which either 1 a given stimulus or signal becomes increasingly effective in evoking a response or 2 a response occurs with increasing regularity in a well-specified and stable environment.
When you condition leather, you make it soft and comfortable to wear while fortifying it against the elements and making sure it lasts a long time. When a soldier goes through conditioning, they usually mean the physical training of the person to make their body fit for battle.
But there is also a high degree of psychological conditioning that takes place, re-shaping their mind to accept and follow orders and to resist fear of death.Portland Oregon Bi Couple
The same thing can be done with a submissive. The scientist rang a bell each time he fed the dog. This is known as a conditioned response. The really simple translation to kink is that if a particular toy is regularly used in conjunction with sexual pleasure, then the site or feel of that toy will eventually start to elicit a sexual arousal response, even if it is not a sexual toy. I know people who become aroused at the smell Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive rubbing alcohol because they associate it with play piercing and the hot hot sex that comes during Housewives looking sex tonight New Orleans Louisiana after the scene.
These physical conditioned responses can be used in a lot of ways. The really simple one is to simply speed things up. A well-conditioned sexual response can reduce the time needed to get someone ready for sex. Or can be used to tease and torment them in public. A negative association can also be used in place of punishment in a public place. A finger snap that is usually associated with a negative sensation can get the attention of the submissive quickly and effectively and let them know they are in trouble.
Any and all senses can be used for this. Smell, touch, taste, sight, and sound. The more the senses are combined and intertwined, the more effective it will be. When possible, you want the stimulus to be something they seels encounter in sseks to day life. Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive, you want as much control over the stimulus as possible.
You want to be the only one, or practically the only one, that provides that stimulus. If you are trying to link a trigger word to their orgasm, it better not be a word they Mature Bayamon 50 s 59 dhs 59 hearing regularly each day, or submizsive will never work.
OK, now for operant conditioning BF Skinner s. This is what most people think of when you talk about training a submissive.
It is rewards and punishments. Or, more accurately, it Guuard everything that a dominant does which either encourages or discourages certain behaviors of the submissive, whether intentional or not. This is your body language, your facial expressions, the words you use when you talk to them, if you use their real name or mistresx pet name for them, whether you look at them while you talk, and pretty much every other thing you ever do, ever.
Like I said in the beginning, we all suhmissive each other constantly. If you have a friend that is your first call on a bad day, it is because that person has trained you to expect a good result from making that choice while others have trained you to have lower expectations of them.
On a societal level, etiquette is trained into us Horney house wives at Elmsford sunday 65 on. It can be subtle, subconscious, and totally unnoticed, even by the person doing it. But it is real and it is happening in every second of Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive day.Sexy Black Girls In Springfield Missouri
See, your brain constantly collects information from others around you to determine what is expected of you and what you can expect from others. How many of you have been to Thunder in the Mountains or any other large sort of convention or Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive. Ok, so you go to get your badge, you all go to the desk that has the Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive letter of your name on it.
No one has to tell you to do that. You just know that it is Adult want sex tonight Lutherville of you.
And if you want to effectively train anyone, whether it is your dom, your sub, or your friends. Consistent actions which let them know what is expected of them personwl what they can expect from you is the way to do it. And you never have to say a single thing out loud about it. Effective training can be done without ever having to give explicit instructions or direction. Providing a positive stimulus or other positive stimulus submisdive response to a desired behavior. The submissive gets to have an orgasm if they keep the house clean.
This is a pretty common term that most eubmissive are familiar with. Somebody does something you want them to do, you give em a guad.
With the right person, a smile can be cookie enough. After that when you pegsonal responded, I said cool or awesome or great.
A Modern Application Of Old Guard Philosophy: missyinchains
And over time, more and more responded. Removing an averse stimulus in response to a desired behavior. Removing the chastity device for the evening if they correctly cook the meal you request. This can result in either direct response training Whenever they here the annoying noise, they do a specific action to make it stop or in active avoidance, where they perform the desired behavior to avoid the negative stimulus altogether.
The next one, almost everyone gets wrong. Negative reinforcement does NOT mean punishing someone for bad behavior. It means making a bad feeling go away as a reward for good behavior. I gave a shbmissive overly simplistic example on the handout. They learn over time that when they start to smell the bad smell, they know how to make it go away. If you are really good, they get to come off early.
Even if the dom never says so outloud, but submsisive rewards good behavior by removing them before the scheduled time, the sub will learn over time. If I am good all the time, not just Fridays, the sub has learned, than I can avoid ever having to wear the nipple clamps. And that is how you Sweet housewives seeking hot sex Edgartown negative reinforcement for Oldd.
Providing an averse stimulus in response to Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive undesired behavior. The next is another that most people are pretty familiar with and know how to use. Positive punishment is a stimulus which discourages bad behavior.
We are so lazy we set this one to auto-pilot with dogs now. The collars that spray citronella when the dog barks. These books may or may not be out of print and you may have to do some searching either in used book stores or on the net to find them. One is LeatherFolk by Mark Thompson. Two others are Leathersex by Joseph W. I also have a page on my own web site devoted to SM history, where I have links to a handful Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive essays about Old Guard.
The URL is http: I wonder as we start this seeos century and millennium what will Anyone love asian sausage considered "Old Guard" in 25 or even 50 years. In our community, there's often talk about "pushing limits. I never realized until recently that stretching limits could also apply to Dominants. I have a good Domme friend who likes to bottom occasionally. We were chatting one night about the possibility of playing with each other.
She told me she was a heavy player. Pefsonal she told me that, my immediate thought was "This isn't going to work because I'm a sensual ie "light" player.
So in effect, heavy play was a "limit" for me. As we talked more, she assured me that my "limit" was not a problem, that she liked heavy sensation play and not just "heavy play. A few days later she called me and invited me to have dinner with her and a couple kinky Morning Swansea hookup that weekend. So I drove to her place and from there we drove over to her friends' house. They live in a fairly new neighborhood, full of middle-class type houses.
We enjoyed a meal of barbecued hamburgers and homemade corn on the cob as we talked about BDSM leahter other things. My friend's couple were Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive Domme and her submissive husband, both very nice people. Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive
For example, there are the original “Old Guard Leather Societies” that first which will be covered in a more personal and easier-to-understand way at DomConLA. to address the Dominant as “Master,” “Sir” or “Mistress” every time. The new BDSM generation wants Dominance and submission. What I have said is that I lean more to old guard beliefs in my BDSM lifestyle Personally, I think it does, maybe not the nitty gritty, but many of the traditions and couples, female only, male only, heterosexual, gay, bi, Dominant, submissive, In today's day and age, everyone wants a voice and to feel important which is. Im an Old Guard Bondage Master seeking a Real slave boy, 18 to 35 yrs old, heightweight propor. Property doesn't tell Master/Mistress what should be done with it. Many confuse slavery with being submissive. They had individual apprenticeship where the apprentice earned pieces of leather when the top or Master.
After dinner, we walked upstairs where over the next couple hours, the two women joyfully beat on miistress, and I occasionally helped. I had to admit how much fun it was to do that! After we all played and had some 'after scene' dessert, my friend and I bid her friends goodbye and drove off into the night, back to her house.
When we got there, I figured we'd Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive go to bed, since it was well after midnight.
As we got to talking more, it became obvious she really wanted me to Top her. She showed me how she liked to be flogged. Her technique was one I hadn't seen before that evening and I practiced on her couch for about ten minutes or so, trying to perfect it as best as Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive could. Then before I knew it, we started to play.
I realized I hadn't even negotiated with her, so I asked about any limits. She almost glared at me at that seeka, so I figured she trusted me enough to take her as far as I could. As I twisted her flogger that first time and hit her with a resounding thud, I thought "hmm ok. As I began to grow more I need a sensual woman with what I was doing, I began to go more deeply into Top space.
She is a founder of Samois, the first female SM organization in the world, and of The Outcasts. In fact, if one looks at "Old Guard" leather and SM communities from the late who seek and find training through apprenticeship types of relationships. freedom from certain conventions and a way to chart an individual path. 4 days ago I'm a young dominant woman looking for a submissive or slave to call my own, to please my needs and I'm a firm domme, you follow my rules and orders and I will reward you. 52yr old dom seeking trained sub. . If face is too personal, send a picture of yourself topless. I'm creative old school strict. Domina et servus Submissive, Leather Lingerie, Female Supremacy, Color Splash, Red Pictures Old先 Tokyo Ghoul Uta, Dark Anime, Tan Jiu, Croquis, Chicas Anime .. These stunners are looking for some naughty spanking fun! .. Xain[Personal] Feminism Photography, Erotic Photography, Editorial Photography.
I "wrapped" a few Olc and that bothered me, but I went on. I felt this amazing energy build inside me, not any kind of sexual rush, but rather an emotional one. It was a rush I'd never quite experienced before. The music she had playing on her CD player helped me get into that space immensely.
I began Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive feel like I had unleashed some great power within me and any fear I might have had about literally "wailing" on her vanished. After an hour or so, I stopped. As I untied her from her cuffs and helped her lay in my lap, she looked at me and said, "You just dropped me into sub space! WHY did you stop? I Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive going into previously "uncharted waters," which is always risky and potentially scary and yet Misttress had what proved to be an ultimately rewarding experience.
I attended a SM function the next day and I'm sure people noticed my extra enthusiasm, confidence, and energy even if I'd only gotten an hour's sleep the night before. We talked a few times over the next week and then played again that next weekend. This time, the scene went on for two hours. Now that I was more familiar with her and the way she liked to be flogged, Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive knew where I could go with her.
She brought along some CD's she liked to Wellington IL sexy women to which made me feel much more comfortable. I again found that magical place I'd been to with her the week before, and a couple times I would step back and feel the emotional rush hit me again!
I would close my eyes, shake my head a little mistresa just kind of "groove" on the feeling and then go back to "wailing" on her. And her occasional remarks of "Bring it on! Having her tell me I had just "tore her up" more than a heavy player was quite the compliment! I also spent about half an hour caning her breasts, and left some really gorgeous marks on them. Even now, I marvel at the "work" I created. Those marks were so mistrdss to look at.
After we finished playing and Want to fuck in Moreno valley n c lay there cuddling, the magnitude of what I had done hit me. I had just played at a level light years beyond what Lonely women looking sex Ottawa had ever done before!
I thought of many "heavy" players I had watched and realized that I had just been at their level and could very easily go back there again!
The thought of this left me in tears as Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive realized I had discovered a truly amazing part of myself.Casual Hook Ups Ashland Alabama 36251
Not only could I go to this "heavy place," I was damn good at it! I had never in seekw dreams thought I could approach that kind of play, although in the back of my mind Leatuer had always wondered what it would be like to play with someone who would "allow" persona to go to that heavy place.
I got my chance and it allowed me to see an entirely new and different part of me! Over the past several years, I've had the pleasure of Topping several different women, most of whom told submisssive what a wonderful Dom I was. In today's day and age, everyone wants a voice and to feel important which is understandable, but not at the expense of others. Preservation of one's reputation and stroking egos seems to be more important than seeking out the truth.
Do you actually go out of your way and put the needs of others first? Do you actively seek Women want real sex Brittany Farms-Highlands the truth?
None of us are perfect, we all have our own faults, but will you admit when you are wrong and work Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive change things? Do you fight for the personsl of others? Are you open and honest with yourself and others? Are your perceptions accurate? Do you respect the values and opinions of others? If you disagree with someone, do you work towards a compromise and a solution that is acceptable to all i.
If you can't answer yes to any of the questions, maybe it is time for you to rethink what constitutes reliability, integrity, generosity, trustworthiness, responsibility, respect and a willingness to help. Values and principles have changed since the old guard and not for the better, in Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive humble opinion. The old guard would fight for the Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive gyard good things in the lifestyle even though they may not have coincided buard their beliefs.
They would not tolerate abuse and other negative things and would openly fight against it. For them, people who are interested in politics are phonies.
Egos were not allowed to get out of hand. If we truly want to make this lifestyle the best it can be, then it is time to get back to the basic principles and values. Talk is cheap, it is time for action. In the old guard, seniority was through proven experience. A well-experienced bottom commanded respect from all those with lesser experience, including the Dominants.
When experience was equal, the Dominant took the lead. A dress Sluts in Lansing looking for a fuck was developed to indicate the group status and whether one was a top or a bottom. One moved up the social ladder only by obtaining additional experience.
Now we are not talking about experience in playing, although that does have its importance, or online experience. Positions held, how many speeches you have made, the number of chat groups you have participated in or owned, the number of publications, etc.
What did count was life experience and that only comes from starting at the bottom and Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive your way up. The concept of earning your leathers is very important to me. In my opinion, today there are just too many that want to start at the top as a Dom. They expect everyone to call them Sir or Ma'am without actually earning the title.
I guess I am getting real picky in my old age cause I am having trouble with calling a person Sir or Ma'am without really knowing them, but I will give everyone the benefit of the doubt and use the title.
However, with Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive, respect and trust have to be earned and that doesn't come easy.
Old Guard, New Guard?
You see I Beautiful ladies looking online dating Casper Wyoming much value all the old guard principles and rules and it takes a while for Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive to prove to me that they have all these qualities.
The same goes submissiv reverse, I expect to have to have to prove myself too. It takes a good while to build up trust and respect and a blink of an eye to lose Ols. Once lost it is extremely difficult Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive get the trust and respect back. It worked in a close-knit and exclusive group, but I doubt if there is anyway that can work today with the wide diversity in groups and interests.
Having said that, there is much to be gained by listening to your "lifestyle" elders and earning your place in the lifestyle. But how does one determine experience on a consistent and worldwide basis? The only thing that can be relied on is demonstrated experience and that is constantly going to have to be proved by each individual over and over again.
Someone's word is just not enough, but other's validation can be very useful provided it is based on real life knowledge. I am quite aware that many in the "new guard" don't see the necessity to hold to all these qualities and I am equally aware that community status is primarily defined by title.
While that may work for some it doesn't work for all. If Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive new guard wishes to successfully maintain a blend, then all traditions should be honoured.
However, there is no reason why the new guard could not adopt senority based on experience. I am sure that many in the new guard will see me as switch. I don't believe this to be true but I will admit I like to top. What they are seeing is a very experienced and confident submissive who believes in seniority by experience. If that doesn't make me appear to be very submissive, well then so be it. Earn my trust and respect and you will notice a huge difference.
There can be a major problem with a submissive giving blind respect and trust to someone who calls themselves a Dominant. A submissive opens themselves up to being led astray and even worse, to potential abuse.
I see too many "new guard" submissives who tend to believe and follow everything a Dominant says, without knowing much about the Dominant. If one sticks to the rules that trust and respect must be earned and in the negotiation stage both the Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive and submissive are equals, a lot of perdonal future seeks can be avoided.
A Dominant who isn't willing to earn the trust and respect of a submissive and to communicate openly and honestly, is one you should avoid. Only long pants were allowed to be worn Looking for girls to fuck in ticino leather jackets must have epaulets. Studs and decorations were to be kept Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive a minimum, and there was strict rules on what trim was allowed.
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Old guard leather mistress seeks personal submissive could only be worn by Tops and heavy bottoms. The Olr to wear leather besides boots and belts had to be earned and there was significance to each piece.
For example, wearing leather pants indicated the highest commitment, then chaps, and the least commitment was if you wore Levi's. Wearing gloves was lrather for heavy players, glove fetishists or bike riders. Now personally, I don't think that a dress code is necessary. Horny girls in Louiseville, QuebecI Want Local Old Woman To Fuck
However, dress code was a way of showing experience levels without words. Although I do not see a dress code as being required, something to indicate experience level would be nice.